Have you ever struggled with a child who’s a non-sleeper – they don’t sleep, even after trying all the “no-fail” parenting tricks? Some kids {and parents} have a much harder time with bedtimes.
One day, I was sitting in a pharmacy waiting room. I was so exhausted I could hardly stay awake- which was crucial because I needed to keep an eye on my toddler. My entire body hurt and I felt like I just couldn’t handle one more thing. Right about then, a woman approached me and said, “Is your child a non-sleeper?”
I almost answered no. I just wasn’t up to politely listening to the advice that was sure to follow- or being told everything I was doing was wrong. “Is your child a non-sleeper?” I almost cried as I answered yes. She gave me a hug and said, “I recognize that look. I’ve been there too.” At this point, I was feeling so grateful to be understood but also a little leery, waiting for the inevitable advice. (You know, the kind that makes you feel like it’s ALL YOUR FAULT your child can’t sleep)
We ended up talking for a few minutes. I was able to confide my struggle to help my child while she listened without judging. Looking back, I hope I even made sense! I was SO thoroughly exhausted. She told me about her child and how he learned to sleep- over time. He was four and a half by the time he could sleep through the night. No overnight cure, just night after night of love and support. She gave me another hug and told me, “you’re doing great. Hang in there! You’re a good mom. Ignore people who tell you you’re doing things wrong- they haven’t walked this path.”
She was SO right! If people are telling you everything you’re doing is wrong, step back and look at the situations.
I don’t know where this woman is today but I wish I could thank her. For not judging me. For giving me hope. And for taking a few minutes out of her busy life to help a stranger.
It’s easy to feel judged when you’re sleep deprived and struggling. Many people try to help by offering advice. You may get some useful ideas- but usually more fit the vein of, “you just need to let them cry it out” or “you’re just spoiling them.” If you can, just avoid those people when you know you can’t deal with them or politely tell them it’s a bad moment to chat.
There are, of course, some medical problems that can interfere with sleep. If you suspect that’s the case with your child, definitely take them in to see a doctor.
What a kind woman! I agree with everything in this post. In most cases, people that give advice mean well. But sometimes you need a listening ear more than advice.
So true! Thanks Erika!
That is a wonderful story! And yes, my baby is teething, and is currently a non sleeper. He wakes up screaming at night, and its extra hard because his brother didn’t struggle with teething like this at all. There are night when he wakes up not just me and my husband, but his brother as well, several times. Everyone is sleep deprived, miserable and frustrated some weeks. He’s been cutting a few teeth for the last week or so, and all of us are so tired! And now his brother has stopped sleeping through the night too, they’re sort of setting each other off…
Wow, guess I really needed to vent that… Whew, thanks for the platform!
Good luck Sarah! You can get through this!
My kids were both not very good sleepers for the first few months of their lives, but we found that routines just work really well for them. As long as we stay on the schedule, they sleep great. This also means that we’ve had to leave parties or other things early to make sure they get to bed, but like I always tell people if they give us a bad time, “You don’t have to deal with them in the morning.” 😉
Perfect response! I’m so glad routines worked so well for you!
How sweet was that! It’s tough to take advice from someone you don’t know but it’s good to weigh the advice if possible. Sounds like it made a world of difference knowing you’re not the only parent in that struggle 💕
It really did, Cori! Thank you!