Have you ever struggled with a child who’s a non-sleeper – they don’t sleep, even after trying all the “no-fail” parenting tricks? Some kids {and parents} have a much harder time with bedtimes.

One day, I was sitting in a pharmacy waiting room.  I was so exhausted I could hardly stay awake- which was crucial because I needed to keep an eye on my toddler.  My entire body hurt and I felt like I just couldn’t handle one more thing.  Right about then, a woman approached me and said, “Is your child a non-sleeper?”

I almost answered no.  I just wasn’t up to politely listening to the advice that was sure to follow- or being told everything I was doing was wrong.  “Is your child a non-sleeper?”  I almost cried as I answered yes.  She gave me a hug and said, “I recognize that look.  I’ve been there too.”  At this point, I was feeling so grateful to be understood but also a little leery, waiting for the inevitable advice. (You know, the kind that makes you feel like it’s ALL YOUR FAULT your child can’t sleep)

We ended up talking for a few minutes.   I was able to confide my struggle to help my child while she listened without judging.  Looking back, I hope I even made sense!  I was SO thoroughly exhausted.  She told me about her child and how he learned to sleep- over time.  He was four and a half by the time he could sleep through the night.  No overnight cure, just night after night of love and support.  She gave me another hug and told me, “you’re doing great. Hang in there! You’re a good mom.  Ignore people who tell you you’re doing things wrong- they haven’t walked this path.”

She was SO right!  If people are telling you everything you’re doing is wrong, step back and look at the situations.

I don’t know where this woman is today but I wish I could thank her.  For not judging me.  For giving me hope.  And for taking a few minutes out of her busy life to help a stranger.

It’s easy to feel judged when you’re sleep deprived and struggling. Many people try to help by offering advice. You may get some useful ideas- but usually more fit the vein of, “you just need to let them cry it out” or “you’re just spoiling them.” If you can, just avoid those people when you know you can’t deal with them or politely tell them it’s a bad moment to chat.

There are, of course, some medical problems that can interfere with sleep.  If you suspect that’s the case with your child, definitely take them in to see a doctor.

You know your child, and you know yourself.
Take care of both and just BREATHE!  You can do this!

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Is your child a non-sleeper? What has helped at your house?

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